My son came up to me while I was on my laptop and said, "Papi, you're always working."
He wasn't angry about it. That was worse. He said it like it was just a fact about the world — like the sky is blue, and Papi is always working.
I closed the laptop.
I'm not going to pretend I have fatherhood figured out. I have three kids, a business that demands constant attention, and exactly the same 24 hours everyone else gets. What I have is a front-row seat to what happens when you're building something while also trying to be present, and I'm learning as I go.
The Attention Economy is Designed to Beat You
Every app, every notification, every "quick check" is designed by teams of engineers to capture your attention and hold it. They're very good at it.
And your kids? They're watching. Not judging, just learning. They're forming their understanding of what it means to be an adult, a man, a father — based on what they see you do.
If they see you glued to a screen, that becomes the model.
This isn't about guilt. Guilt is useless. This is about being intentional.
What I'm Trying to Do
Phone in another room — When I'm with my kids, the phone stays out of reach. Not face down on the table. Not in my pocket. Another room. The difference is real.
Clean blocks of time — I've restructured my workday to have defined work blocks and defined family blocks. I work hard during work time. When I'm off, I'm actually off. It doesn't always work perfectly, but it's the goal I keep returning to.
Being honest with them — My kids know what I do. They know I run a business. I explain (at whatever level makes sense) what I'm working on and why. When I'm busy, I tell them I'm busy — and I tell them when I'll be done. Kids can handle a lot more honesty than we give them credit for.
Showing up physically — Games, dinners, bedtime. These are non-negotiable when I'm home. Not just present in the room — actually there.
The Guilt Trap
Here's something I've noticed: the guilt from not being present is sometimes worse than just being present. You spend the whole time you're "with" your kids mentally elsewhere, feeling bad about it, which means you're actually not with your kids at all.
Better to put in the work during work time, be clean about it, and then show up fully.
What I Want to Model
I want my sons to see that you can build something, work hard, have standards — and still be around. That ambition and presence aren't opposites.
I don't always get there. But that's the direction I'm pointing.
This is one I'll keep coming back to. If you're a dad building something and trying to figure out the balance, I'd love to hear how you're doing it. Reply to the newsletter or find me on socials.